Call To Action: Tending To The Dead
I shared on Twitter a while ago that I was going to start experimenting with dream divination with the assistance of mugwort tea during the new moon. It’s been an interesting experience of noting what worked what well, what didn’t, researching, and refining my methodology over the lunar cycle but this process has also reminded me why it’s called witchcraft - it is a skill that you refine with time and experience. All this to say, I conducted my latest iteration of the new moon dreaming ritual this week and it was more than I expected. I woke up around 3:00am and laid in bed just processing things before eventually drifting off to a dreamless sleep for a few hours, but when I awoke again I still had that nagging sensation that I need to share what I saw and received.
I want to start this by saying I am in no way the first person to discuss the otherworldly impacts of things like war, the pandemic, or climate change when it comes to the dead. If anything, I’m just adding to a list of voices that are calling for the same thing - the need to tend to our dead. The beginning of Spring (in the northern hemisphere) might seem like a weird time to draw attention to death and the dead, after all this is the time of rebirth and new beginnings and life coming back into the world, but strangely I think that is exactly why it’s important to remember our dead right now.
As the days grow longer and warmer, as the birds come back and flowers start the bloom, it is perfectly natural to want to focus on the brightness and beauty of the world. If you are part of a marginalized community in the United States you might especially need to find all the joy you can right now. I’m not trying to take that away from anyone - I myself am really looking forward to getting back into the garden. But if we focus only on the good parts we let the bad parts, the painful parts, continue to fester and spread. It’s for that reason that I think it is especially important that we’re all reminded right now that the dead need us.
They need us to remember and celebrate them.
They need us to let go and heal.
They need us to find them and tell their stories.
They need us to let them know someone sees them.
They need us to help guide them to whatever is best for them.
What and who do I mean when I talk about the dead? In my own personal practice I work almost exclusively with dead people, specifically through ancestral veneration and ancestral healing. And if we were just talking about the human dead that would be a lot - especially given the last decade or so with COVID, wars, the opioid epidemic, climate related disasters, etc. But this time of transition we are going through (some like Byron Ballard refer to it as “Tower Time”) spans beyond humanity and, in some cases, is caused by humanity. Take climate change, for example. Changing weather patterns and temperatures have impacted almost every natural system and biome on the planet. The capitalist need for exponential growth has resulted in the clearing of more forests, the draining of more wetlands, the burning of more fossil fuels, the eradication of complex habitats to make room for unsustainable monoculture farming, environmental disasters that poison our waters. We are currently living through what many experts believe to be a sixth mass extinction event. The dead are not just human.
These restless dead are comprised of our ancestors and family and friends - taken from us due to war, addiction, disease, poverty, and fear. They are comprised of animals and plants who’s homes have been clear cut or poisoned. They are comprised of the spirits of land, sea, and sky who have been hollowed out through excavation, dynamite, fracking, and burst pipelines.
The end result of this is we have a lot of dead stuck in transition. The way my brain processed what I was seeing was by comparing it to a border or refugee crisis. And as whatever is playing out during this Tower Time continues to do so, the ranks of the dead will only grow. Those of us who work with the dead and dying are needed to help ease this transition and diffuse this energy as much as we are able. I’ve seen in my own life where the energy that gathers around the restless or lingering dead can seep into a place and have disastrous impacts on anyone who lives or works there. I can only imagine the impact it would have at scale.
[Note: When I say “ease this transition” I don’t mean helping spirits to “cross over”. I don’t think it’s my place to decide when and were a spirit should go but I can serve as a mediator or facilitator to help them move in a direction that is best for them and causes the least harm. Some folks want to stick around to check on their loved ones, after all!]
So what does tending to the dead look like? I can only share with you some examples from my own experience that have worked for me. And again, when I work with the dead it is primarily the human dead so I myself and going to need to lean on some friends and do some research.
In my own work there are certain questions I tend to ask myself when designing a ritual to work with or commemorate the dead. Not all of these may be applicable but they are usually a good starting point:
How have we marked their passing? Marking the passing of the dead can serve two purposes. First, it can help reinforce to the dead that they are in fact actually dead. Second, it can also show them that they meant something to their loved ones and that those they are leaving behind in this life are able to process their absence.
How are we allowing for collective/community grief? Depending on the context it might be proper to mark the passing of multiple individuals in a collective setting, especially if the loss is the result of something that has a deeper impact on the community. An example that comes to mind is COVID. At the time of me writing this blog post we have 1.1 million reported COVID deaths in the United States since March of 2020. I believe the President made some remarks when the death toll hit 1 million, but other than that how have we as a society and country acknowledged this staggering loss of life? Even in our own communities, how have we marked how these deaths have reshaped our connections with each other?
How are we tending to their needs? This is tricky because I feel folks often translate this as “What unfinished business does this ghost have?” and that is not what I mean. When I talk about tending to the needs of the dead I am approaching that work as a facilitator. My job is to help them better understand where they are and where they want to go next in a way that is best for them and also causes the least harm to others. So, from that perspective, tending to their needs often means acting as a psychopomp by spending time with them to allow them to reflect and process, and performing ritual for or with them to assist them in navigating difficult thoughts and emotions.
How are we tending the the needs of the living? Death doesn’t only impact the person who dies, it also impacts whoever is left behind. How are the needs of the living being met while they process their grief, anger, loneliness, etc. Oftentimes it’s the living who actually get in the way of the dead being able to transition because they are unable to let go or find peace. This doesn’t mean telling someone to “get over it”, but instead making sure those who remain know they have a community and support system. Knowing their loved ones are well looked after is often all a spirit needs to continue on their journey.
How are we setting boundaries? When I give workshops about working with ancestors one of the first things I tell folks is death isn’t a cure. If someone was an asshole in life they very well might still be an asshole in death. If someone was racist or homophobic in life being dead doesn’t suddenly make them a perfect person. Whatever your cosmology, belief in the afterlife, or theory on what ghosts are, when it comes to the dead sometimes you are going to encounter those that can’t be reasoned. So what do we do with them? A good first step is to set boundaries both physical and metaphysical. Home protections, warding, ghost bottles - there can be a whole other blog post on what setting boundaries with the dead can look like. There are a bunch of great authors and bloggers out there with amazing ideas, too.
How can the dead help me? I’ve mentioned before that part of my personal practice involves ancestor veneration. I’ve found it helpful in the past to ask for help from my ancestors in working with the restless or lingering dead because they can relate to them on a level that I can’t. They can also provide strength and protection if needed. Just be sure to thank them!
These are just a few thoughts and examples. This is going to take more than just a few people doing one ritual or lighting a candle. This is going to take consistent, sustained effort over the long term but for those of us who feel called and who can assist, this work is necessary.
