Ritual: Healing and Strength for Marginalized Communities
After the attack on Pulse a poem began making the rounds online that really stuck with me. Over the last month or so I’ve found this poem floating into my conscious mind more frequently without really realizing why. A few weeks ago I turned to Google to find the entire poem and, upon reading it, I realized what my Queer Ancestors were trying to tell me.
For some of us Pride celebrations were cancelled this year, but for a great many of us Pride Month in 2020 felt more like the original movement than it has in a very long time. Gone was the corporate veneer and instead we were on the streets protesting the treatment of black Americans in this country at the hands of the police and criminal justice system. This is a struggle the queer community knows all too well, after all Stonewall began because a police raid on a gay bar. We also continue to to hear stories, almost weekly, of the violence against trans women of color.
I’m not sure how may folks are familiar with Mark Aguhar (she/her) but you can learn a little more about her here (TW: suicide). You can also explore Mark’s Tumblr/portfolio here. Mark described herself as a “genderqueer person of color fat femme fag feminist” and her work centered the struggle of trying to figure out how those identities show up in, or are shut out by, our world. She is the author of the poem that has cycled through my head ever since I first heard it in the summer of 2016, ‘Litanies to My Heavenly Brown Body’. Most of the versions I’ve seen only include the blessings, but there is a larger version of the poem that also includes tearing down of mainstream identity and power, which you can find here.
The more well-known (or more palatable to mainstream culture) part of the poem, the blessings, is what I’ve been thinking on for the last month. Certain lines would come to mind at the strangest moments. Now, I’ve never claimed that I wasn’t dense and sometimes it takes me a minute to really hear the message my Queer Ancestors are sending my way but once I finally googled the entire poem it all clicked.
We’re tired, y’all. Every single on of us. You. Me. We’re exhausted. It isn’t just 2020, as fun as that joke is, this is a long running exhausting that spans beyond just this current administration. This is the exhaustion of a generation that was raised on the notion of progress, that saw the election of a black President and was told “Look, it’s all getting better” when in reality it was stagnating at best. This is the exhaustion of a generation that has come to realize that to a large extent the best we can hope for right now is to hold the line. Everything is hyper-politicized, especially the sheer fact that so many of us have the audacity to exist in a world that would prefer we toned it down a bit, that finds our authenticity off-putting because it holds a mirror to the lie that conformity someone equates to security and success. My prim and proper and polished friends are just as unemployed as my flaming and unapologetic and messy ones.
When I’m exhausted but know I need to keep going what I need most is strength and validation. I need someone to see my fighting and tell me it isn’t a waste of time. I need someone to see my struggling and remind me of everything else I’ve overcome. This ritual, designed around the blessings in “Litanies to My Heavenly Brown Body’, is meant to help heal, affirm, and strengthen those of us who just existing right now is exhausting.
Items Needed
‘Litanies to My Heavenly Brown Body’ (See Below)
19 x White Birthday Cake Candles
1 x Red Taper Candle (For Strength, Vitality, Passion)
Candle Holder
Small Plate
Salt
Matches/Lighter
Rose Petals*
I found it easier to do this ritual outside so I could place the birthday candles in the ground. If you have some way of holding this many small candles in place you could easily perform this ritual inside, too. I just couldn’t think of a way to do it that wasn’t a fire hazard. Be sure to clear any flammable materials out of the way and give yourself enough safe space to work with.
I placed the 19 white birthday candles in a circle. In the center of the circle I placed the red taper candle in the candle holder. The candle holder was placed on top of a small plate so I could put a ring of salt around the red candle. Since I was outside I absolutely did not want to just pour salt on the earth! Please avoid doing that. If you are doing this inside you don’t necessarily need to small plate, but it does help with clean up.
*I also included a larger circle of rose petals around the white birthday candles. Some devotees associate roses with La Santa Muerte, myself included. I came to her as a patron saint of the LGBTQ+ and other marginalized communities so including her in this work and asking her to grant a blessing a protection made sense for me. You could easily substitute any particular deity, spirit, ancestor etc. that you work with but it is not a necessity. I also thought about including my Queer Ancestors in this ritual but, after a quick check-in, it didn’t seem to be the right fit.
Once you have your circles (candles, salt) and your red candle set up take your matches/lighter and read the first blessing. As you do so light the first white candle.
Continue reading each blessing and light a new white birthday candle for each one.
When you are done reading each blessing and lighting a candle for each one pause a moment. The poem concludes with the declaration ‘Amen’ but you can substitute that for any declaration you feel is more personal or appropriate. Light the center red candle as you utter this declaration.
Birthday candles don’t tend to last very long so I sat in contemplation of this poem, thinking about all the folks I know and the folks I don’t know who I could wrap in this ritual. I simultaneously pulled from this ceremony the strength I needed to keep going - after all, this is ultimately about uplifting our communities - and sent strength and protection to those who need it. Keep in mind,you could be doing this ritual to try to bolster communities nationally or internationally, or you could be doing this to help an organization in our local community.
Litanies to My Heavenly Brown Body
BLESSED ARE THE SISSIES
BLESSED ARE THE BOI DYKES
BLESSED ARE THE PEOPLE OF COLOR MY BELOVED KITH AND KIN
BLESSED ARE THE TRANS
BLESSED ARE THE HIGH FEMMES
BLESSED ARE THE SEX WORKERS
BLESSED ARE THE AUTHENTIC
BLESSED ARE THE DIS-IDENTIFIERS
BLESSED ARE THE GENDER ILLUSIONISTS
BLESSED ARE THE NON-NORMATIVE
BLESSED ARE THE GENDERQUEERS
BLESSED ARE THE KINKSTERS
BLESSED ARE THE DISABLED
BLESSED ARE THE HOT FAT GIRLS
BLESSED ARE THE WEIRDO-QUEERS
BLESSED IS THE SPECTRUM
BLESSED IS CONSENT
BLESSED IS RESPECT
BLESSED ARE THE BELOVED WHO I DIDN’T DESCRIBE, I COULDN’T DESCRIBE, WILL LEARN TO DESCRIBE AND RESPECT AND LOVE
AMEN
“Litanies to My Heavenly Brown Body" by Mark Aguhar (1987 – 2012), as part of Nobody Promised You Tomorrow: Art 50 Years After Stonewall at the Brooklyn Museum.
