Coming out of the broom closet!
After years of talking about taking my craft and spiritual practice into a more public venue I still can’t believe I’m actually doing it! I’ll admit this is a little scary but overall I’m just really, really excited.
I think this first blog post should be a little bit about me and how I got here. I’m a cis-gendered gay man in his mid-30’s originally from Florida, now living in the Mid-Atlantic with his husband and small dog that look sorta like a werewolf. I’m white and also identify as Hispanic, specifically Cuban. My mom was born in Cuba and came to the United States when her family fled the burgeoning communist regime of Fidel Castro, and while my dad is not Hispanic my mom’s side of the family played a much more prominent role in my life for a variety of reasons. My mom wasn’t able to stop working when I was born so I spent my days with my grandmother and great-grandmother until I was about four years old. My great-grandmother didn’t speak any English and neither her or my grandmother could drive, so I spent a lot of time surrounded by Spanish on buses in South Florida. I was also raised Roman Catholic which, much to my surprise, has come to inform a lot of my current practice after spending so long trying to get away from anything that seemed remotely similar.
Like most folks my age my initial foray in paganism and alternative spirituality was through Wicca. I remember being introduced to books by Scott Cunningham by a neighbor who was about the same age as me, and every time I was at the mall I would “casually” wander past the New Age section of Waldenbooks to see what I could quickly memorize. What my friend couldn’t have known at the time was that this was the same time I was beginning to question my sexuality. My family wasn’t particularly religious but we did attend church regularly, I had received the requisite sacraments up to that point, and for a few years I had served as an altar boy. I was also very open with the fact that I was curious about becoming a priest. Wicca was introduced to me at the same time I was questioning the connection to my faith because of the friction between realizing I was gay and what the church said that meant about me.
I remained a solitary practitioner for the next few years. Every time I got close to engaging with a group, such as the small Pagan Student Union at my college, I would panic and backpedal. I was still closeted about my sexuality at this time, too, and being open about one seemed inextricably linked to being open about the other and this was something I was just not prepared to do. I did come out as gay, eventually, and my spirituality took a backseat for a while as I began to explore what being an open gay man meant for me. This was, and continues to be, a journey that challenges me to unpack internal homophobia and assumptions about gendered social roles and performance.
Over the past several years I’ve begun reconnecting with and reevaluating my craft. I never truly identified as Wiccan, but in the pre-internet days materials that built off of that practice and cosmology predominated in what was available. When I dusted off the altar and tarot and books I realized that path didn’t work for me anymore. My identity as a gay man, and what it means to occupy that space, had taken a prominent role in so many of my other identities and my spirituality was no exception. I began connecting with other folks in my area - local hedge witches, devotees of a variety of pantheons, shamanic practitioners, adherents of African diasporic practices - and in doing so began to realize the depth of my own personal history and the truly magical traditions of my family and LGBTQ+ community. Engaging with these varied practitioners also drew me further and further into a more public practice through small group altars in someones home to larger outdoor rituals along the Potomac.
My spirituality and craft now pull on many aspects of my journey up to this point. It includes Cuban folk cures and home protection inspired by the Santeria-inspired charms of my great-grandmother, journeying to work with the spirits that help guide and shape our lives, prayer and ritual inspired by my Catholic upbringing, and venerating the Queer Ancestors of my LGBTQ+ community. I also more strongly believe in the active notion of my spirituality being a “craft”, something that needs to be used and practices. This shows up in academic pursuits such as researching the hidden histories of marginalized communities in my area that helps me manifest my ancestor veneration in story-telling, and approaching advocacy and activism as a form of embodied ritual work.
I think I’ll wrap this first post up here. Later personal posts will likely dive into specific aspects of how I engage in my own personal path, among other things. For now, though, welcome to White Rose Witching. I look forward to connecting with you more and hopefully together we can #keepgrowing.
